Can We Say to the Next Generation, ‘Be Imitators of Me, as I Am of Christ’? — A Reflection on Generational Faith, Repentance, and the Greatest Treasure Found in Christ

Estimated reading time: 25–30 minutes

Before You Read:

This reflection is not about finding the perfect way to parent, build the perfect church, or become the perfect Christian.

It is about how the Lord has been gently exposing my own heart and teaching me that the greatest gift I can offer the next generation is not my strength, knowledge, or abilities, but a life that continually returns to Jesus Christ.

As He has turned my eyes away from self-reliance and back to His all-sufficient grace, He has been transforming me from a discouraged Christian and an anxious, joyless mother into a joyful follower of Jesus who increasingly delights in Him and enjoys motherhood. Though His work in me is far from complete, I rejoice that He is faithful to complete what He has begun.

My prayer is that He will use this reflection to draw all of us closer to Himself, deepen our love for Christ and His church, and encourage us to increasingly say with integrity to the next generation,

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

1. The Next Generation Is Watching

As I have reflected on my own childhood and on the past nine years of parenthood, one question has been pressing upon my heart:

Can I honestly say to the next generation, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ”?

Watching my nine-year-old daughter increasingly imitate the way I speak and treat her siblings—in both good and sinful ways—has shown me how profoundly one generation shapes the next. The Lord has shown me that loving the next generation means not only faithfully teaching them God’s Word, but also showing them what Christlike love looks like through the way we live. In doing so, He has also led me to revisit some of the deepest wounds in my own heart from a fresh perspective. Instead of minimizing the wounds I carried as a young believer, He has gently invited me to bring them honestly before Him in lament, trusting that He alone can bring true healing—not only to my own heart, but also to others who carry similar wounds. 

2. Truth Without Love

When we teach our children and young people to love one another, forgive one another, and pursue peace, they naturally look to us to see what those words look like in real life. When we as believers—including myself—gossip, slander, judge one another by appearance, or allow misunderstandings to grow into division instead of pursuing truth in love and eagerly maintaining the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, our actions can unintentionally contradict the very message we proclaim. 

It is like telling your child how much you love them while living in a marriage marked by bitterness and unresolved conflict. Just as children learn what love looks like by watching their parents, young believers learn what Christlike love looks like by watching Christ's church. When they repeatedly witness division and bitterness, they too can become confused and wounded.  

As a young believer, I watched people I deeply admired and loved leave the church because of unresolved conflict. I also watched the love between brothers and sisters in Christ grow cold because of disagreements and divisions. Those experiences left me deeply confused and grieved. 

During seasons of conflict and disagreement within the church, my heart struggled to reconcile what I was witnessing with what Jesus had taught me in His Word.

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love (agape) for one another.” (John 13:35)

Paul later describes the character of this love:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬-‭7‬) 

Over time, I realized that my own heart was becoming discouraged and less sensitive to these precious truths that the Lord had impressed upon me when I first came to know Him. Instead of allowing His love to shape my heart, I slowly began to rely on my own understanding, strength, and desire to be right.

Recently, the Lord graciously showed me that I had fallen into a subtle form of legalism. I had become so concerned with being right and defending myself that I had begun to lose sight of God’s greatest commandments—to love (agape) Him wholeheartedly and to love (agape) my neighbor as myself. Over time, doing the right things at home and in the church became less the joyful response of a heart transformed by His love and grace and more the weary striving of a heart driven by pride, anxiety, fear, or guilt. 

It was during those seasons of conflict and disagreement that the fruit of this subtle form of legalism became especially evident. I found myself wanting to win arguments rather than genuinely understand my brother or sister in Christ. Instead of patiently listening before responding, I often rushed to defend what I believed to be true. Even after a heated conversation ended, I would lie awake in the middle of the night, anxious over whether I had said the right things, while giving little thought to the condition of my own heart. I often noticed the other person’s impatience with my responses, yet I was blind to my own impatience—to truly listen, seek understanding, and ask sincere questions before responding. The more I sought to justify myself instead of resting in Christ’s righteousness, the less patient, gentle, and gracious I became toward my neighbors God had called me to love, beginning with my closest neighbors—my husband and children. If I cannot even love my own family and my church family well, how can I bear witness to the world with the love of Christ? 

Until recently, the Lord had been gently shepherding my heart with both truth and grace. Through His patient work in me, I came to realize that I had gradually lost my first love for Him. As I reflected on my struggles in communicating with others, I began to see the same pattern in my communion with Him. Rather than patiently depending on the Holy Spirit to know Him and understand His heart, I often relied on my own understanding to interpret both His Word and the circumstances He had ordained. Yet only God can truly make Himself known. As I have learned to seek Him with humility and dependence, He has been graciously revealing His heart to me through His Word, through the people He has placed in my life, and through the ordinary circumstances He has sovereignly ordained. His truth has been setting me free from the power of sin in my life. As He has done so, He has also shown me that I may accumulate knowledge just as unbelievers can, but agape love comes only from Him. Therefore, I must rely on His Spirit to love Him and others as He has commanded me. 

3. Pursuing Unity Through the Grace of Christ

Thankfully, our God faithfully pursues our hearts, and His grace is sufficient. As He lovingly revealed that I had fallen into this trap of subtle legalism, He did not leave me in condemnation; instead, He filled my heart with overwhelming grace and joy by turning my eyes back to Christ—the One who has taken away my sins and borne the punishment I deserved.

At the same time, the realization has caused me to wonder and feel deeply burdened about the impact these things may have on the next generation. The church is not called to be perfect, but to love as Christ has loved us. If division becomes one of the lasting impressions we leave behind, it is understandable that some in the next generation may struggle to see the love of Christ displayed through His people. 

Just as a child who grows up witnessing bitterness rather than joy and unity between their parents may later struggle to embrace marriage with confidence and hope, young people who repeatedly witness broken relationships within the body of Christ may find it difficult to trust the beauty of Christian community. We must keep reminding ourselves that Christ does not call us to agree on everything, but He does call us to love (agape) one another.

My heart aches when I see believers dismissing one another, and I deeply long for the unity of Christ's church. 

I often think back to the early days after I became a Christian and shared my faith with one of my professors. The first question I remember him asking me was, “What denomination are you?” I was confused, so I simply replied, “I don’t know what denomination I am. I am just a follower of Jesus.” 

Can we stand together on the foundation we share in Christ while appreciating our differences and respecting one another's convictions, speaking the truth in love, believing the best about one another, and pursuing understanding, reconciliation, and peace? 

I know the struggles within my own heart when conflicts arise in relationships. I know that, by my own strength, I cannot do these things apart from Christ. I desperately need the grace of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit to help me truly extend grace and forgiveness toward others and to humbly and genuinely seek forgiveness when I have sinned.

Oh Lord, please help me, and please help us. I thank God for showing me that Christ has never stopped loving me, has never stopped loving His church, and has never stopped cleansing and renewing His bride. Though we are faithless, He remains faithful.

4. Called to Be Faithful, Not Perfect

This reflection is not written to condemn anyone else. It is written because the Lord has first been examining my own heart and inviting me to bring my wounds and fears before Him for lasting healing and freedom. In doing so, He has also shown me that the first place the next generation encounters the gospel is often not from the church, but in the everyday lives of their parents.

As I look back over the past nine years of motherhood, I realize that for many years I did not model to my oldest daughter what it truly means to follow Christ. Instead, I allowed myself to live under the weight of shame, guilt, anxiety, and fear. Growing up as an only child under China’s one-child policy—a generation unlike any other in Chinese history, and perhaps even in human history—I never had siblings with whom to share toys or responsibilities. My primary responsibility growing up was to study. Household chores were viewed as practical life skills rather than responsibilities I was expected to take on.

When I learned I was pregnant, my first reaction was panic. I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility of becoming a mother. At that time, I still felt like a grown-up child who struggled to take care of herself. I didn’t even know how to make a pancake. The transition into motherhood was far more difficult than I had ever imagined.

Looking back, I realize that I approached motherhood much as I had once approached school before I came to know Christ. It felt like another responsibility to perform well rather than a gift to delight in. Instead of rejoicing in the Lord and gratefully receiving the precious children He had entrusted to me, I often found myself complaining, discouraged, anxious, and even depressed.

When my oldest daughter was little, I was often anxious about her physical safety because I felt there were things I could do to protect her. But as she grew older, my anxiety shifted toward her eternal soul. I realized that while I could often influence her outward behavior, I had no power to change her heart. She could obey outwardly while remaining resentful inwardly. I didn’t know how to shepherd her heart rather than merely correct her behavior. Gradually, the Lord helped me realize that before I asked my daughter to obey with a joyful and willing heart, I first needed to examine whether I was modeling that same joyful obedience to God in my own life.

As I earnestly began asking God to help me become the mother He was calling me to be, the Lord graciously and gently turned my eyes back to Himself. He reminded me that He did not call me to strive to become the most capable mother by the world’s standards and expectations. Rather, He calls me to be His faithful servant, living under His all-sufficient grace, continually returning to Him, and completely relying on Him to obey His greatest commandments.

He created me to be a worshiper of God alone. Whenever I treasure His gifts—including my children—more than I treasure Him, I can no longer enjoy those gifts as He intended. Instead, those good gifts, corrupted by my sinful heart, become the masters over my heart. My heart then responds with anxiety, groaning, and restless striving to seek from them what they were never meant to give—approval, security, or ultimate joy.

But if the Creator—the One who has revealed Himself in Jesus Christ as loving, gentle, merciful, and gracious, who willingly came to serve me and paid my debt at the cross—is truly my Master, then my heart cannot help but respond with joy, gratitude, and genuine worship. He is the generous Giver who gives all things to be received with thanksgiving, enjoyed rightly, and ultimately used to lead me into deeper delight in Him and His perfect love.

By the grace of God, as He has drawn me back to Himself, I have found increasing delight in motherhood. As I have learned to treasure Christ above all things and delight in Him, I have also found greater freedom to love and enjoy my children as the precious gifts He intended them to be, rather than asking them to give me the ultimate joy and satisfaction that only Christ can provide.

Over many years, I became increasingly frustrated with my daughter. Then one day, after the Holy Spirit had been faithfully transforming my own heart, I watched her become frustrated and annoyed with her siblings because they were getting in the way of what she wanted to do. In that moment, I realized I was seeing my own heart reflected in hers. Instead of correcting her impatience as I had done so many times before, I came to her grieving over my own sin against her. I humbly asked for her forgiveness for the impatience I had so often shown toward her and told her how kind and gracious Jesus Christ is. I confessed that I had not loved her as He has loved me. But through Jesus Christ, we can both receive and rejoice in God's abundant grace and mercy. As I spoke these words, tears filled her eyes.

Through that experience, the Lord taught me more deeply that only after we have received His love and grace through Jesus Christ are we able to reflect that same love and grace to others, and that true heart transformation is His work alone. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit can our hearts be softened, our wounds be healed, and our eyes be opened to behold the beauty of God and His transforming work in us and through us.

5. His Grace Shines Through the Cracks

Not only does the world desperately need God, but believers–including myself–desperately need Him every moment. We are utterly dependent upon the Holy Spirit dwelling within us to live according to His will and for His glory. Apart from Christ, we can do nothing.

Our children are not watching only what we teach—they are watching how we live. The same is true of the watching world. However, neither our children nor the watching world need to see flawless Christians; they need to see sinners who honestly acknowledge their weakness and brokenness, and continually return to and rely upon a gracious Savior and Lord. 

This is precisely the kind of people Jesus came to save:

 “Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”(‭‭Matthew‬ ‭9‬:‭13‬)

He does not call us to religious performance or self-righteousness; He calls us to humbly receive His mercy and become people who extend that same mercy to others. The Lord also graciously gave me a deeper understanding through a simple moment with my daughter. She wanted to share her ice cream with me, yet she was reluctant to share it with her toddler brother. So I told her, “I would be much happier to see you share it with your brother than to eat it myself.” That moment brought this verse to life for me and gave me a small glimpse of the Father’s heart.

God doesn’t need anything from us, because He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. Every good gift we have comes from Him. Rather, like a loving Father, He delights in seeing His children joyfully extend the abundant love, mercy, and grace we have received in Christ to one another, reflecting His character and rejoicing together in Christ.

The world teaches us to hide our brokenness, cover our cracks, and boast in our strength. But the gospel sets us free to do the opposite. Christ said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Because His power is made perfect in our weakness, we no longer need to pretend that we are strong. Instead, we can boast all the more gladly in our weaknesses, knowing that His grace is sufficient for us and that the power of Christ rests upon us. Like jars of clay holding a priceless treasure, our cracks do not diminish His glory; they become the very places where His surpassing power shines most clearly through us.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7)

Therefore, if we truly desire to bless our children and the next generation, let us return to the One who turns ashes into beauty, knows our hearts, heals every wound, restores broken relationships, relentlessly pursues us in love, and willingly bore the wrath we deserved so that we might receive His lavish grace.  

 

6. The Greatest Treasure That Every Generation Can Receive

We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

The greatest treasure every generation can receive is not the best education, the most advanced technology, the best policies, or the most comfortable living environment. These things are temporary and ultimately limited in light of the reality of death.

The greatest treasure every generation can receive is the free gift of God—eternal life in Christ Jesus. It is the gift of knowing and enjoying the invisible and eternal God Himself through Jesus Christ, in whom all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found. In Him alone, we receive forgiveness of sins, freedom from shame and fear, and the freedom to enjoy every good gift He has graciously given with true love, joy, and peace. These are the very things that every human heart and soul, from the beginning of creation to the end of history, deeply longs for. 

When God graciously shines His face upon us, our hearts cannot help but overflow with worship and bring glory to His name. The more we see His beauty, goodness, and grace, the more we desire to glorify and enjoy Him forever. May our hearts sincerely cry out to Him, “Make your face shine on your servant; save me in your steadfast love!” (Psalm 31:16), trusting that He faithfully hears all who call upon the name of Jesus and saves them according to His unfailing love.

My hope is not in human beings, but in the living God who has demonstrated His great love and amazing grace through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Let us seek genuine reconciliation with Him and with one another through the power of the Holy Spirit. As we continue seeking God, trusting in Jesus Christ with all our hearts, praying without ceasing, and rightly understanding and applying His Word—the timeless truth never grows old—I trust that He will continue to transform our lives by His grace. Though we will never model perfection, may we increasingly be able to say to the next generation with integrity, as Paul did:

"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." (1 Corinthians 11:1) ❤️ 

“My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” （Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭20‬-‭25‬）