Known by God, Freed to Communicate Honestly

Estimated reading time: 8 mins

Introduction:

It seems to be getting harder and harder to be honest in our world today. We live in an increasingly multicultural world, surrounded by people from different backgrounds, cultures, experiences, and preferences. Sometimes we hold back from being honest because we don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings. Other times, we’re afraid of being misunderstood, rejected, or hurt ourselves, so we protect ourselves by keeping things inside.

But I’ve been learning that honest and loving communication is so important for building the healthy relationships God intended us to have. And perhaps learning to communicate honestly is also an important part of learning to trust God—trusting Him enough to speak truthfully, listen humbly, and entrust the outcome to Him.

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Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what trust really looks like, especially in marriage and in the church.

For a long time, I was afraid to communicate with others. I struggled to express what I was feeling to people close to my heart. Sometimes I would become frustrated when others didn’t understand me, or hold a grudge because I felt they weren’t sensitive enough to know what I was feeling.

At the same time, I often tried to guess what other people were thinking or feeling without actually asking them. Instead of communicating openly, I would try to read their hearts.

But I think God has been teaching me such a precious lesson through this—one that is freeing me from that fear, helping me love others better, and drawing me closer to Christ.

The Bible describes us as a body, where each part is connected to and needs the other parts. If one part of the body loses communication with the brain, the brain may not know what that part is experiencing. It may be hurting or in need of something, but the signals aren’t reaching the brain. That can create a serious problem for the body.

In a similar way, communication is so important in our relationships. When we communicate what is happening inside us, we give the people who love and care for us an opportunity to understand us and respond to us.

This has especially made me think about my marriage.

Sometimes I have struggled because I feel like my husband doesn’t understand me. But God has been showing me my own responsibility in that. I cannot expect my husband to know what is happening inside me if I haven’t communicated it openly.

Sometimes I want him to simply know how I feel. I want him to understand without me having to explain. But I’m realizing that, in a sense, I’m asking him to do something only God can do.

My husband loves me, but he is not God. He cannot know my heart completely or read my thoughts.

God alone knows me completely and perfectly. So because my husband doesn’t know me perfectly, I have a responsibility to help him understand me by communicating honestly and openly.

Communicating my feelings doesn’t mean demanding that he respond exactly the way I want him to. Rather, it gives him the opportunity to know me more deeply, so that he can love me and lead me with greater understanding.

I can say, “This is what I’m feeling. This is what I’m struggling with. This is what I would like you to understand.”

And then I can trust God with how he responds.

I think that’s where trust comes in all our horizontal relationships.

Sometimes it feels safer to keep our feelings inside because we’re afraid of being misunderstood, rejected, or disappointed. But part of trusting God is being willing to communicate honestly and then entrust the outcome to Him.

At the same time, I’m learning that I don’t need to mind-read others, and I don’t need to carry responsibility for feelings they haven’t communicated to me. I can listen, ask, and trust God with what I don’t know.

None of us is God. They are not God to me, and I am not God to them. Only God knows each person’s heart completely.

I think this applies not only to marriage, but also to the church and to every relationship I hope to have with Christ at the center. God has placed people in our lives to love us, care for us, and lead us. Although they are imperfect, we can trust that God is sovereign and He can work in them and through them as we communicate honestly in love. We are called to love others not perfectly, but faithfully.

And then I think about my relationship with God.

What amazes me is that God already knows everything about me. He knows my heart completely. He knows what I’m thinking before I even speak.

And yet He still invites me to come to Him and pour out my heart before Him.

Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”

He doesn’t invite me to pray because He needs information. He invites me into relationship with Him.

Trusting God means I don’t have to hide my feelings from Him or pretend to be stronger than I am. I can honestly tell Him what I’m struggling with, what I’m afraid of, what I’m feeling, and where I’m weak.

And this is where the gospel becomes so precious to me.

I don’t have to live the Christian life by my own strength. I can be honest about who I am and where I’m weak because Christ’s grace is sufficient for me.

As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I’m realizing that the Christian life isn’t about pretending that I never struggle. It’s about bringing my real self to Christ, depending on His strength, and growing in a deeper relationship with the Almighty God whom I cannot see by sight, but whom I can know by faith.

My husband may misunderstand me sometimes. Church leaders may misunderstand me. Friends may misunderstand me. And I may misunderstand them too because we are all sinful and limited.

But Christ never misunderstands me.

Even though I am far from knowing Him fully, He knows me completely. Even when I misunderstand Him, He remains perfectly faithful. His love for me in Christ does not depend on my perfect understanding of Him, but on who He is.

Because of what Jesus Christ has accomplished for me, God no longer deals with me according to my wrongs. He has forgiven all my wrongs, welcomed me as His beloved child, and freely given me the abundant grace that I have in Christ.

Therefore, I don’t need to hide from Him because of my limitations, weaknesses, or even the ways I misunderstand Him. Instead, I can come before Him with confidence, honestly acknowledge my weaknesses, and continue learning to trust this God who knows me completely and loves me perfectly.

Because of my trust in Him, I can communicate honestly with the people God has placed in my life without expecting them to be God. I can open my heart to my husband, listen to others, love faithfully, and submit wisely—and then entrust the outcome to Christ.

I don’t have to put my ultimate trust in another person’s ability to understand me.

My security is not in being perfectly understood by people. My security is in being perfectly known and perfectly loved by God.

How amazing that the church belongs to the Almighty God who knows our hearts, understands our weaknesses, sustains us in our struggles, and gives us sufficient grace.

We can be honest with Him. We can be honest with one another. And we can walk this Christian life not by our own strength, but by His.

His grace is sufficient.

His power is made perfect in our weakness.

He walks with us. He understands us completely. And He loves us perfectly.

He is sovereign. He is good. And He is worthy of our complete trust.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭18‬ ‭